Isn’t it funny how easy those words come off the tongue but the minute your life turns upside down you can’t believe it for yourself?
To be honest I have no idea how to write this post. I haven’t wanted to write or even thought I was able to, but I think just writing, even if it’s about nothing, will help.
I’ll admit it –whenever one of my regular bloggers falls off the map I find myself increasingly curious as each day passes by. Did someone die? Did he/she get kidnapped?? Are they living on a desert island??? And while I don’t consider myself a blogger that anyone in particular would be “worried” about, I figured I owed an explanation. One Wednesday I left you with some fun food pictures and a “see you tomorrow” and then I disappear for a month.
There’s not much to say except I’m going through a rough patch right now. As most people know, your first few years after college are hard, but for some reason my mind and body just aren’t handling it well at all. I’ve tried to force myself to be happy and grateful, because I know that that’s the key to a fulfilled life. But even though I’ve easily lived a life full of sunshine thus far, the past six months I have felt like a black cloud is slowly and quietly taking over my life. Worry, fear and guilt have consumed me and as hard as I’ve fought them off, they’ve won for now. I know I’ll be better eventually and am taking all the right steps to get back to my happy self, but for now this is where I’m at.
I didn’t think I could write until things went back to “normal,” but I’m slowly realizing that standing still (metaphorically) won’t get me anywhere, especially back to my old “normal.” Who knows if that normal will ever be back. But one thing is for sure – writing, especially in this forum, is one of the things in life that brings me the most happiness. So for now I’m going to play the old “fake it ‘til you make it”. I’m going to share food photos, maybe with fewer words than normal, and I’m definitely not going to get creative with topics. I apologize in advance I’m just going to sit down every once in a while and write.
Thanks in advance for the kindness I know I’m going to receive from this community. Like I said, please bear with me. But for now, I have about a month’s worth of blog-reading to do!