hold off on the amber alert

I think I was getting to the point where I was actually seeing how long I could go without blogging. Over the past 1.5 weeks I’ve snapped photos of my meals, documented workouts, and thought “Oh, that’d be fun to write about!” But I never. actually. wrote. Little did I know I actually have some people who look forward to my posts so I got feedback just short of “do we need to call the police? Where’d you go?” That was pretty funny!

My life has done a complete 180 in the past week. Okay, that’s a tad dramatic. But I had a hard week. I’m going to choose not to elaborate, but it was one of those weeks where my character was tested. Like anyone else, I’m a human being. A human being who makes mistakes and has bad weeks. It took me almost seven whole days to forgive myself for mistakes I’ve made recently and to make the conscious decision to go back to the person who I really am, but I did it. Do you ever have that eye-opening moment where you realize you’ve been acting a certain way that you thought was just fine, but in that one moment your eyes are opened and you realize you don’t recognize yourself in the mirror? It was one of those weeks. A week of personal reflection.

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Speaking of that, do you know what’s the worst? When you’re so upset that  you feel like you’re going to be sick for days, and you keep asking yourself, when is this going to get better? What can I do to make this better? And you realize that you have no control. The only thing that can make certain situations better is time. That’s the worst. I’m the kind of person who, when I have a problem, in order to make the “uncomfortable”, the “sad”, the “anxiousness” end, I try to control the speed of recovery. Unfortunately life doesn’t work like a math equation. Sometimes you just have to let your emotions play out and then, when you least expect it, you move on.

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 It’s been a really long time since I’ve been that disappointed in myself. Usually I have it all together and I’m fairly proud of the person I am. I still am…I’m not sure what I’m saying. All I know is this time last week I was eating one meal a day, spending my free time curled up on the couch, and I didn’t work out once. I was just sad about where my life was at, how I’d gotten there, and where I was going.

Today I’m all back to normal. Like the snap of my fingers I forgave myself and moved on. I’m at my new job, the weather is in the 50s and 60s (holla!) and I’m still surrounded by everyone I love.  And do you know what I did to fix everything that went wrong last week? Absolutely nothing. I just let time happen.

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I’ll be back this weekend with a “normal” blog post. Let’s just pretend this little hiatus didn’t even happen 🙂

So catch me up on your lives, friends. And listen to this beautiful song. Because it’s Friday.

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14 comments

  1. Awww, I really do understand what you’re saying and am glad you are feeling better and have forgiven yourself!! You know, it’s definitely tough to walk through life unhappy and uncertain where the path may lead. We all have those moments were we give in to temptation and indulge in our own feelings, but you know, sometimes it makes you stronger and more aware of what you want out of life so I’m proud of you!! You opened your eyes and saw what needed to change and now feel better!! I look forward to reading more of your posts!! XOXO!! Have a great weekend!!

  2. I completely understand! I totally just went through this same exact thing this week! Horrible week and really a wake up call to this thing we call growing up! We all have bad weeks just remember that you do have people around you to pick you up and sometimes pitty parties are necessary!

  3. We’ve all been through these little dips, but the important thing is that you’ve tried your hardest to move on! This sunshine sure helps, too! LOVE YOU!!!!! ❤ 🙂

  4. We all get days/ weeks like these – just remember everything we go through shapes who we are and who we become – use what you can to learn from it and move onwards and upwards!

    Sending lots of blogger love! 🙂

  5. Awww girly, sorry you had a rough week but it sounds like you found the silver lining in your troubles. There’s always something to be learned when things aren’t going our way. Growing up is hard, but the good always outweighs the bad. You seem to have a real sense of pride in your character and that’s a lesson we need to be reminded of sometimes. I hope your week does a 180 the other way… and new job?! Can’t wait to hear about it 🙂

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