emotional

weekend happenings + finding peace in a culture of scarcity

Welcome back to Monday! I’m tempted to be overwhelmed by all the negative parts about Mondays – missing the weekend, having obligations, less time to do what I want, feeling an overwhelming sense of scarcity (I didn’t get enough sleep, I should’ve worked over the weekend, I need more coffee, I didn’t get my to-do list done), and already, before the day’s even started, looking forward to the weekend.

Do you ever wonder if this is why life seems to fly by so fast? Because we’re constantly “looking forward” to things instead of enjoying the simple things that we get to do every day?

I’m in the middle of a new book (shocker, because I haven’t read a book by choice in God knows how long) called Daring Greatly. It’s all about our culture of scarcity, of “powering through” to get to the relaxing or fun parts of our lives. Ideally we’re all supposed to be doing something we love each day, but even if that’s not true, it’s seriously so important to realize and catch yourself when you look past the day and to the weekend, or a trip, or a happy hour, or even just 5:00 that night. Life happens all the time, not just when we barrel through a workday and finally get comfy on the couch 8 hours later.

Do I seem emotional? Man have I been lately. That, coupled with the fact that I did an hour of yoga before dawn this morning, have turned me into complete mush. Heartwarming commercials are making me cry, and One Republic is playing constantly on my computer and giving me the kind of butterflies in your stomach that only really personal music can give you.

I’ve been freaking out lately. Overreacting, having panic attacks, even practically pulling my hair out.  Nothing has changed but for some reason I’m not coping well with my life right now. But I do know one thing – waking up this morning and doing sun salutations while the sun rose was quite literally one of the most peaceful things I’ve done in awhile. Daring Greatly has made me take a step back and see everything in life as something to be appreciated for what it is—living! I sometimes look around the train on my commute and wonder, do the people around me realize how random and insane it is that we’re even alive? It’s too early to get too deep (haha) but really…think about your life and how crazy lucky you are! I know I’m doing that more and more lately.

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 I’m really trying to get a handle on this out-of-control feeling that keeps rushing over my body when things don’t go my way. I had a bad weekend. I looked forward to a night off on Saturday and, so is life, things didn’t turn out exactly as I’d planned. What was my response? Pure anger. I was so, so angry. I let it ruin the whole night, and I wasted it. Now there’s nothing I can do to change what happened, but it’s so therapeutic to write it down, admit it, and hopefully react better next time. No more running to the bathroom to breathe deeply into my hands and pull at my hair.

I woke up this morning with every intention of running four miles. I was going to pound the pavement and get that high that only comes from a good run. I was going to turn my music up to max volume and tune out the world. But when I woke up this morning I felt a voice telling me that tuning out the world by blasting loud music and pushing my body to its limits this morning was not the way to start my week. This morning, the only answer was yoga. I didn’t have a mat, my hands are covered in rug burns now, but I feel incredible. I woke up with the sun and now I’m going to start my week in peace. I got enough sleep last night, I’m excited for the week ahead, and I know I’ll handle whatever comes my way. Let’s all avoid the culture of scarcity and just accept ourselves, and our lives, as enough, as worthy.

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My weekend wasn’t all bad—Saturday morning I spent some great quality time with my parents. We went to the grand opening of Trader Joe’s in my hometown and it was, as expected, a blast and a half.

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Sunday morning Zain and I went out to brunch at a French-themed restaurant, so right there we were combining two of my favorite things. It was almost an hour-long walk there and back to the restaurant but the sun was out and it gave Zain and me a chance to talk, electronics-free and enjoying the sights and sounds of the city. I was able to indulge in one of my favorite French treats (a croque monsieur—holy moley) and enjoy the feeling of Spring in the air.

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Also, in a weird twist of fate we passed by a CTA stop that looked IDENTICAL to the metro stops in Paris. The whole morning took me back to my time aborad.  I think it was a sign – that was a time when I was forced to be independent, flexible, and vulnerable. Who knows, maybe it was God’s way of telling me to reignite that strength inside of me, even though I’m home now

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As I sit here, writing this early in the morning, I can’t help but have this awesome feeling of hope for the week. I’m smiling because I can feel myself growing emotionally and spiritually, two parts of myself that I tend to neglect. Don’t get me wrong, I have the physical health down pat. As “healthy living” bloggers it’s basically a rule, right? But health isn’t all about getting your vegetables in. We are complicated, beautiful, messy humans, and we have many sides to take care of. So I hope that by acknowledging my weaknesses as of late I’ll be able to make a difference in my emotional and spiritual state. That way I can truly call myself healthy.

Okay—so enough about me. Tell me about your weekend! What cool things did you do or how did you relax?

Questions:

  • Do you see yourself living a culture of scarcity?
  • How do you take the time to cultivate your emotional and spiritual sides?
  • And to lighten things up, tell me your favorite animal and why 🙂 I love pugs and can’t stop looking at pictures of them. INSTANT HAPPINESS!

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Have a beautiful Monday!

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